This way to the stars

Catharsis

Definition: (according to google.com)

1. An emotional purging or cleansing experienced by an ancient Greek audience at the end of a tragedy;


2. The emotional effect upon an audience resulting from a re-living or re-experiencing of a remembered emotion;


3. A way of emptying oneself of frustration and misery (in therapy).

My emotions have been purged.

I'm sick of that roller-coaster ride of emotions that I've been going through for the past week. My friend was right; I am being too emotional and downright cheesy, when there is virtually nothing to be worked up about. It's all here in my head, it's just my imagination, and it's high time I pinched myself hard on the arm and tell myself that it's all just a delusion.

For the past few days I've been alternating between euphoria and anxious depression bordering on bipolarity. My will was totally getting out of control. I need to harness what's left of my reason and put a stop to this.

Finally I have awoken to the fact that the world is depressingly normal, that nothing and no one is going to deliver me from this tiresomely dull world which I know I should be lucky to appreciate but from which all I want is out.

The tragedy is that for the past week I've been feeling that those delusions were utterly real. I've been treating them as the bread of life, but as soon as I'd digested them I've felt their insubstantiality. And as soon as I've realized the fatality of what I've been doing, I had almost been too weak to emerge from that morass of confusion and dangerous obsession.

I should realize that books, movies and songs are not real life. It's time to face up to the bare, harsh facts of mine. It is painful to come back to reality, what with illusion so much stimulating and desirable.

Because I am alone.

posted by steph @ 8:20 PM