This way to the stars

They're funny, but I'm not laughing

It is 2 am, and I am listening to my noisy iTunes playlist.

Finally, after weeks and weeks of conformity and mediocrity due to my settling to one of those predesigned blogger layouts, I have finally made a new one.

I stayed up late because I didn't want to leave this job hanging until the next day. It's funny how I'm so goshdarn determined on finishing a blog layout, but when it comes to accomplishing schoolwork such as an English essay or a lab report I'm such a procrastinator.

There were many things that drove me to make a new layout. Foremost of them was boredom. It's funny how I complain in the middle of Hell Week that I can't wait for the sembreak and to get my life back, but now that I have loads and loads and loads of free time I suddenly find myself at a loss of something productive to do. Hence the obsession over HTML perfection. Another reason was that I reminded myself to make a new one since I was told by a friend through YM not so long ago that he didn't like my using a predesigned layout. Oh well. Here it is, then.

So what will our beloved and supremely bored protagonist do now when she is finding herself disturbingly free of papers and deadlines? And Botany?

Agenda for the sembreak

• Make a blog design
  
• Make a website for Block L2
  
• Enroll for driving lessons and taekwondo
  
• Revise Asialink's write-ups and letters (and all that sleazy marketing crap
  
• Reread all the good books in the house (again?!)
  
• Watch all the DVDs and VCDs in the house (this I haven't done...yet)
  

Bottom line: be bored to death.

Funny how both excessive stress and excessive boredom can be so threatening to sanity.

It is in these moments, when my mind is unoccupied and idle, that I think of my mom. I found myself crying a bit, sometime after I woke up and I was lying aimlessly in bed, since I was thinking of how much I missed her and the long separation that we're going through just for the uncertain prospect of financial well-being in the future. And yet, when she called at around 6pm, I was only able to bring her up to date on the mundane events in my life; I never got to say any of these things that are bothering me now.

I know this is such a cliche, but isn't it funny how you only appreciate something or someone after they are gone from your life? Isn't it funny how the most meaningful and deeply-felt thoughts are the hardest to express?

Shucks. This post is sounding like one of those insanely forwarded emails asking you to "forward this to twenty people within one minute so that your wish will come true", or something like that.

But still, I'm not laughing.

posted by steph @ 1:55 AM