This way to the stars

Why do I blog?

It seems like my blog is undergoing an identity crisis.

I put effort into composing meaningful and relevant blog entries. I obsessively debate over the right layout to use. I religiously edit entries whenever I spot grammatical errors in them.

But why do I do it?

Why do I do it when this blog is only an obscure bit of webpage stuck in a little corner of the Internet? Why do I do it when everytime I lovingly scroll down the blog page, I always see that nobody bothers to comment on any of my posts? Why do I do it when I know that nobody reads anything I write? Why do I put so much effort into writing meaningful posts when all of the creative energy that I've poured into the effort will eventually degenerate into senseless bits of gibberish and kilobytes, unread? For whom am I writing? A small circle of friends and family members who, at the end of the day, will get absolutely nothing from and will forget everything about what I wrote?

The truth is, nobody really cares about the mundane, banal, and day-to-day experiences of another person's life. No matter how well the blog's layout is designed and no matter how impressive my writing style and vocabulary is, nobody really cares about what I had for breakfast last Thursday, September 22. Nobody really cares whether I got an F in Filipino, or whether I had been freakishly bored during a two-hour-long break between subjects. The majority of web surfers won't find interest or controversy in the ordinary gripes of an ordinary college student with an ordinary life. There's nothing special about me that I should broadcast to the world; I'm not a PhD, a CEO of a major business establishment, or a famous celebrity or athlete. I am not a person whose life features a lot of achievements or intrigue; I'm not a personality who deserves to be put in the spotlight. Ultimately, what I write in this blog won't make a change and a difference in reader's lives. It won't trigger a cataclysm, spark a debate or even a discussion in a comment thread. Nobody's interested, nobody cares, nobody gets inspired, nothing changes.

So why do I do it?

I honestly don't know anymore. I don't know why I waste a lot of time in writing posts with stupid would-be reflective thoughts, when nobody reflects on them after all. Maybe it's because I can develop writing and critical skills in writing almost daily posts. But then, why publish those posts at all if they're merely meant for writing exercise?

So what's the point of blogging?

Maybe it's because I like feeling that I have a little corner all to myself in the vast virtual world that is the Internet. Maybe this is my way of establishing myself as an identity whose ideas and opinions are just waiting to be read. Or maybe something admittedly more selfish but somehow closer to home: maybe blogging for me is just a tool through which I siphon off reflections, complaints, and anger that otherwise rage inside my head, and publishing is just a way for me to admire the written work itself in a fancy Photoshop-driven setting.

It's time I shed off all pretensions. If for no one else, I blog for myself. For Steph.

And the number-of-page-visits counter can just go to hell.

posted by steph @ 9:44 PM