I miss my mom. I miss my mom.
I've never really appreciated what she did for us and for the house...until now that she'll be gone for a year. *sniff*
She was the only one considerate enough not to spare any expense on us, while not making us spoiled at the same time. When she was here, me and sis found it easier to ask for the things we need. When she was here, we didn't have to eat crummy food. When she was here, life was a lot easier, because she was in charge.
Until....now. I never realized how hard it was to have people depending on you, to have people behind your back (like my mom had)...until now. My little sis and bro are looking up to me. I'm the leader of the Baudelaire children, and I'm looking out for them. I have to be the one to see to it that all our needs are answered to. And dad isn't always here.
I hate my grannys. Haven't I said this a thousand times in this blog? They totally defeat their purpose in being here. They're supposed to be the ones looking out for us ; instead, I think WE'RE the ones looking out for them. In the malls, they just sit down and let us do whatever we like. In the house, they mostly just sit around. When they do cook food for us, it often isn't what we want. I'm the ones making inquiries on the amount of groceries left, on our taekwondo lessons, piano lessons, even the damn driving school. They let me take charge of my brother when he's crying and screaming, when the WHOLE PREMISE on their staying here is to take care of him.
They let us do the dirty work while bossing us around. And I hate it. I hate it. Lola #1 cooked burnt, bitter and alien-tasting spam for us a while ago for lunch; Lola #2 tells us to wake up when we're still sleepy or else "we're gonna get sick". I HATE THIS LIFE. I wanna get to school to get away from them, even if I have to face studying which I hate, but less so than THEM.
Sigh. I have to pull myself together. Little sis and raj are looking up to me. But still, I can't drive the feeling away.. I'm afraid...can I handle this, especially when it looks like mom's going to be away for more than a year because she can't find a job yet?
Master Yoda says:
"Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate..HATE LEADS TO SUFFERING."Spot on, Master Yoda.
I won't LET THEM ruin my life.
I can do this. I can do this. I wanna get away from here. I wanna live in the States. I wanna be independent, and have my own big paycheck, even if it'll take me 10 years to finish the damn medicine course, just so I could WALLOW IN RANK MATERIALISM, on my own. I can do it. I'll try my best.
Master Yoda says:
"No!! Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try."Yoda rules, as always.
Meanwhile, I've been joining fanlistings and putting their icons in my profile. Just to have something to do, to take my mind off things. I can't bring myself to read a book; I've already read most books in the house (the ones left are too corny).
Hmmm. Maybe I should just make a
Yoda layout for my blog.
EGADS!!!!!!!
I don't even know WHY I'm posting here. I don't even know if someone's looking - no, glancing! - at this blog, let alone reading my posts. I'm so irritated, frustrated, you know, the works- courtesy of my extremely
PERFECTIONIST nature.
I was trying to remove the horizontal scrollbar bothering this iframe in the posts and profile page, but try as I might I COULD NOT get rid of the measly little useless pest.
I ALMOST CANNOT TAKE LIVING IN THIS HOUSE WITH THEM. The two grannys, I mean. They are absolutely BOSSY, PARANOID, CONDESCENDING, and basically
"BENEVOLENTLY TYRANNICAL". One of them's constantly worried that we might get sick, lost, kidnapped, you know, the whole CABOODLE of disasters that MIGHT EVER, however UNLIKELY AND REMOTE, happen to any member of the race of MANKIND. Another's hiding the snacks in BIZARRE places around the house because she's worried that the maids might GOBBLE them all down.
And the worst part of it is, they are acting soooooooo
SANCTIMONIOUS about it all. As if it were for our own good. Sure, it's for our own good, all right, if they want us to DIE EARLY!!!!!!
That's why we've (as in, Tam and I) suggested to our Dad to let us do the groceries instead of those two, because we wanna be in charge of the house. It was just rotten, though, that Dad didn't allow us, saying that "we should be concentrating on our studies instead" and that "we're just kids; we can't be in charge". Mom said in her first and latest email since we got back here that "we'd just have to get used to them; it's hard to teach old dogs new tricks". But WHY??? Is this the kind of sacrifice required from us so we could have our US Citizenship? Make no mistake: I REALLY WANNA LIVE THERE (it's too hot and too expensive here). It's good I do, because if I didn't I'd definitely call mom back and drive out the granns right now!
GOD, IT'S ABSOLUTELY COMFORTING to be able to VENT some of the frustration I've been feeling!!
Meanwhile Me, Tam, and Hyperactive Little Bro are feeling like the Baudelaire children in A Series of Unfortunate Events: harassed (but fortunately not lethally) by our relentless guardians, with both our parents virtually gone. Yesterday Tam and I crossed the street to Robinsons Pioneer to shop for our school stuff...ALONE, in a fit of rebelliousness, because we sort of wanted to try if we could do it.
Oh well. I CAN'T WAIT FOR SCHOOL TO START SO THAT I'LL WON'T BE SEEING THEM FOR THE WHOLE DAY! And besides, Dad told me that I could have a
LAPTOP before the start of school!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHOHOO!!!!!!!!!!! That's consolation enough - and MORE! - for me!!!
Mom and I had a little "misunderstanding" today.
It was like this:
I was playing my sis's Gameboy Advance. The game was Crash Bandicoot purple. It was a hard, tricky game, and my head was hurting and my eyes were popping out from frustration. After what must have been an hour of struggling, frustration, and head scratching, I finally completed a very HARD segment of the game (and got a gem and a purple crystal too!). Naturally, I shouted "Yesss! Sa wakas, tapos ko na rin!".
Unfortunately my mom was in the room, and she shushed me and told me to keep quiet in that awful nagging way of hers. So fine. I kept meek and quiet.
But that's not all. Apparently mom thought that the sound from the Gameboy was too loud too (which it wasn't to me). So she exclaimed, "Hinaan mo naman yan! Natutulog si Kendra. Kaninong bahay ba to...!!!". (Just to remind you: we are still in Portland, and sis and me are going home in 3 days.)
On and on went the diatribe. So, just to close the matter entirely, I turned off the sound coming from te Gameboy. Fine. I realized her point. No hard feelings on my part.
But apparently, mom thought I made a sarcastic move, which it totally wasn't! So then she shouted at me: "O?? Ba't galit ka nanaman?? Palagi ka nalang nagagalit sakin!!! Ay, naku! Di bale, pagkatapos ng 3 araw you'll get rid of me na!!!" (Mom isn't going home with us. She's staying here to petition us.)
CRAP. CRAP. CRAP. I stayed quiet. I didn't blow my top this time, or else there'd be another HUGE ROW that would definitely defeat the point of being quiet in the first place. And what did she think? That I was sarcastic and ungrateful? WHY???!? Because I ended the entire argument on her terms? Did she think I didn't have respect for my tito and tita (who owned the house)????? DRAT IT. I hate arguing with my mom. She gets so volatile and defensive. And I hate it when you're trying to breathe, calm down, step down and give them their way, and they throw the effort right back in your face as if it was no good.
Ohhhhh well. *sigh* *shudder* *sniffle*. At least we made it up afterwards. At least mom drew me aside and kissed my head, and I said "okay!" like it was no big deal. Who would want to prolong a stupid argument anyway? But still, I feel like I HAVE to release my pent-up feelings SOMEWHERE. And this is it.
CRAP. Crap. CRAAAPPP!!! And on top of it all, my head is hurts more, I wanna cry, and drat it! I'm bored!! What CAN a person do in a whole day stuck in the house with Thy Royal Highness Princess Kendra?!? I played the stupid Gameboy. I blogged. I let my mind rot.
LET THE WHOLE WORLD FILL WITH CRAP!!!
Haha! (laughs triumphantly)
Tom won in the grand season finale of
Survivor Palau last night. Yehey! Among the final four, he was (in my opinion) the strongest one and the most deserving to win. He won the most immunity challenges, and at any rate he's not a double-dealer like Ian. Good thing Katie didn't win; she was a TOTAL EMBARRASMENT in the physical challenges. She wasn't even as good as Jenn, and Jenn got voted out (it was a tie actually, but she failed in the tiebreaker).
What defeated me right then was that Katie made it to the final two. HOWWWWW??? Hey, maybe because she was a BACKSTABBING LEECH, who only made it because she attached herself to Ian; and Ian got a noble itch and saved her crummy hide after she was the first to quit the challenge to the final three. Yeesh and Sheesh.
Oh well, enough about other people's lives.
But wait, what IS going on with my life? Well, what about ABSOLUTELY NOTHING? I've just touched up my blog, made some pages for links, edited the color and opacity of my tagboard, fried Spam (the meat, duh. I think I fried it good, though; at least it wasn't burnt). And oh yeah, mom bought 10 BIIIGGGG bars of CHOCOLATE because it was 10 for $10 at Fred Meyer's.
And, yeah: we are back in Her Royal Highness's Princess Kendra's house in rainy Portland, Oregon. For 4 slow freakkin days we shall HAVE to put up with the her SUPREMELY ANNOYING invectives:
Elmo computer! Elmo computer! This is while I'm editing my blog in the Net.
Music! Music! Silly song! While travelling in the car, we are condemned to listen to children's songs. Yup, we endured that for four days, 6 hours each, on the road to Disneyland, California. And more. Yup, that was WORSE than Survivor. I think.
Go shopping! This I can relate with. Absolutely.
Watch Lion King! Watch Lion King! This is while we are watching good, adult tv.
Ate Stephanie! Ate Stephanie! This is every time I want to be alone, but she STICKS to me.
Ick, ick, ick! There is, at least, a challenge to keep my mind from going crazy. We are going back home on Friday (the 20th), and we'd have to figure out HOW EXACTLY to pack the pasalubongs, pasalubongs, pasalubongs, and (guess what?) MORE PASALUBONGS in the luggage. Fortunately, Tito bought us a balikbayan box; or else we would not have space to put our CLOTHES in our suitcases. Yeesh. Our clothes (and shoes!) by the way, are a lot too. Yup, we are NOT exactly packing light. Becky Bloomwood, EAT YOUR PRADAS OUT!
Oh well. Time to
GO FIGURE.
Not to mention Tammy has a veritable FORTUNE of.......(drumroll please!)..... weeelll..I shall not mention it. You'll die from a heart attack if you knew (if you were my dad, you DEFINITELY would!). Let's just say a GIANT BLACK HOLE must have been in her wallet, in the name of Gameboy, Epcot Japan, Universal....and of course, Anime, Anime, and more Anime.
Go figure THAT one out. I'm beat.
Hey! Greetings to potentially nobody who would be reading this blog.
Guess what:
I've changed my layout, and almost wetted my pants!I've changed the layout of my blog! I'm getting bored with that oldy-worldy parchment-y style of my old layout, so I decided to make this page a bit more....PINK.
It's 7:25 and I'm ANXIOUSLY WETTING THE COMPUTER SEAT IN ANTICIPATION of the final episode of Survivor Palau. It would be SOOOO MUCH FUN to see the four hungry, stressed-out, nerve-wracked survivors wrangle each other's throats in flaming temper!!!!!!! (Evil laugh...muhahaha!) I can't wait to see who would win! Happilly, Caryn got voted of, as she was by far the snitchiest and most expendable among the tribe.
Crikes! I almost lost my head from panic today because I thought that my beloved WHITE iPod earphones were lost! As it happened, they just fell underneath the goddamn computer table. Maybe because I was soooo sleepy yesterday that it happened. Sheeesh.
Actually, I am still on the verge of losing my head right now. The stuff that we bought in Tacoma and in Orlando were just so....MANY. I've never even realized we've shopped for so much things. Egad! We even have to take home a HUGE and bulky balikbayan box! I think, though, that after this experience, I've learned to like living here in the US, in a perpetual state of RANK MATERIALISM and SHOPPING SPREES!!!! God, I'd LOVE to be FILTHY, STINKING, DUMPSITE-LIKE RICH!!!!
I shall have to update you (as in, nobody in particular) on what happened in Universal Studios and Disneyworld, Orlando, Florida. It can, though, be summed up in three words: I GOT DIZZY.
Cheerios!
I've got an iPod mini!
It costs a whopping $199 (with sales tax! crikes!). Mom contributed $100 for it, and I've paid for the rest by myself.
Needless to say, I am happy. No, ECSTATIC and DELIRIOUS are the more appropriate words. Wheeeeeee....it's such a nice blue color!!! I've got the iPod mini, by the way; I guess, I can't run out of space there, what with 4GB storage space.
Even though I've bought the iPod (which is by far THE MOST EXPENSIVE THING I've ever bought in my ENTIRE LIFE, we still didn't quit our favorite, favorite hobby: SHOPPING GALORE! As in, galore. As in, shopping spree.
Yup, I've bought a lot of shoes, clothes, jackets, and other whatnot (Little Sis even bought a HAT RACK). Obviously, the purchasing power of people here are stronger than those back home.
CRIKES, I can't wait to live here... and get FILTHY, STINKING RICH and wallow in RANK MATERIALISM!!!!
Oh well, in the meantime, I'll search for free music downloads for my beloved iPod.
Even though the meddling iTunes is kinda annoying. Oh well. Software is software. Did I mention how brilliantly BLUE my iPod is??!!??
Hahahahahaha!!! Wheeeeeeeeee.
AND, just to serve as the cherry on top of the cake is, me and Little Sis have been extremely nice to mom today; we've bought her two watches from Fossil for Mother's Day!
Wheeeeeeeeeeee!
